Five things I learnt from 10 days of Vipassana Retreat. Four years on in 2020.

The current situation of COVID-19 brings to light mental health issues that can be exacerbated due to social isolation, anxiety and fear. A good meditation practice, such as Vipassana, can really come in handy during times like this.

It has been four years since I attended the 10 days Vipassana Retreat back in 2016, and I think I can safely say now that the entire experience had been life-changing. Not in a dramatic fashion but in little, everlasting ways.

Here, I’ll share about my experience and lessons learnt after four years.

1. Being with yourself is hard work.

10 days of silence, with more than 10 hours of sitting meditation per day can be gruelling even to yoga teachers who practises Yin yoga and it doesn’t matter if you can do headstands and handstands with ease. An untrained monkey mind doesn’t discriminate. In fact, students are discouraged from exercises such as yoga or even practising your own method of meditation, such as Pranayama. This is to ensure that you give the Vipassana method a chance and reap the full benefits from the instructions as taught by Goenka.

I wasn’t an experience meditator before I signed up for the course. But I try to stick to a 10 minutes a day practice and had attended a few sessions of hour long guided meditation sessions in a local temple in Singapore. An interest in Buddhist teachings and a regular yoga practice also prompted me to go for the retreat. I believe these helped me cope a a little better as is being a relatively calm and introverted person.

Still, the mind needs training. During sitting meditation, we are taught to focus on our breath for the first 3 days. This is to sharpen our focus and concentration. I realised that my mind still drifts but I am more aware of my thoughts and try to bring it back to the breath. “Be vigilant, very vigilant”, S.K. Goenka.

I actually enjoyed the Noble Silence, and having the space and time to slow down. I like to do mindful walking after meals when we have a little bit of break, just admiring the trees and nature. The birds are fantastic, I love tracking their movements and I even “befriended” a family of squirrels living just behind my room! They are like my companions in this time of social isolation. One of them even ran towards me like a pet, but I freaked out and streaked a little, scaring it away.

Maybe this silent isolation “training” explains the fact that I kind of enjoy this period of "lockdown”, plus I was already working pretty much alone for years. I very much like being with myself now.

2. Feel the Pain and Meditate anyway.

If you just need to take away one thing, learn this. It isn’t exactly accurate, as we are taught to also feel the pleasure and meditate anyway. The essence here, is to cultivate an equanimous mind, one that does not react to cravings or aversion. But to simply — observe. To see things as they really are, as Goenka puts it, “anicca, anicca, anicca…All things are impermanent.”

These days, sources of my “pain” mainly come from negative people. But I am thankful for these uncomfortable moments as they remind me to go back to the practice. To meditate, breath and most importantly, not react. This too shall pass

“anicca, anicca, anicca”.

And I feel so much better and at peace after every meditation session. No wonder the recommendation is to keep up the practice daily after leaving the retreat.

3. Let Go. Be Gentle to yourself

I often nod off to sleep during the retreat, especially in the morning. After the first few days. I discovered that it is not compulsory to join the first hour of 4.30am sitting. According to the timetable, we can choose to meditate in our own rooms. Of course, my body have other plans. So I missed a few morning sittings, I figured it’s better to sleep properly than to nod off to sleep while in the main meditation hall.

Also, during the sessions of “Strong Determination (adhitthana)”, from the fourth to tenth day of the retreat, we’re told not to move as much as we can endure. But if you really need to move to prevent a leg from dying, please, change a position.

Let’s strive for progress, not perfection. And be gentle on ourselves.

4. Trust Buddha and the instructions

“Wow, Buddha is a genuis!” I thought after my chronic back pain disappeared one day (it did come back later, however, but it shows that constant practice works).

Sitting for more than 10 hours per day without any back support is no joke.

Students are allowed to request for back rests or sit on a chair if they have difficulties. I do suffer from a bad back and tight shoulders, but I wanted to put off asking for a support for as long as I can. I needed to try Vipassana, passed down from Buddha himself, and see if I can heal myself. During body scanning —Vipassana involves scanning the body and noticing the different sensations on each and every part of the body — I can sense the difference in energy being more “gross” or “dense” on my pain areas. I will spend more time on these areas and breathing into the tight areas, visualising running energy flow through them and hope for a breakthrough. And it works! “Buddha is a genius!”

On another occasion, I encountered a brief moment of blissful emptiness. But I won’t elaborate here as everyone’s experience is different and we should not cling on to even pleasant sensations.

Just trust the instructions and work diligently.

5. Friends

It may sound ironic to talk about friends here. How the heck do we make friends during a 10 days silent, no eye contact retreat? Well, we are allowed to talk on the first day (check in) and last day of the retreat, technically, we are there for 12 days.

One of my most valuable takeaway is a connection with two friends, one of them whom by a good stroke of luck became my neighbour at the dorms. Thank you Serendipity!

It is always so lovely to meet people who you can connect with during a retreat and I am so grateful that I’m able to meet such great friends during my retreats.

The flip side, I have to say is, when there are people you can agree with, there will always be others who just doesn’t sit well too. That is why, we need to practice. Moment to moment.

I wish to go back one day. When I have mustered enough courage to go through a 10 day course again!

I definitely recommend everyone to attend this retreat. It is as authentic as it gets, and course fee is free (please donate whatever amount you wish to pay it forward). There are centres all over the world. For more information, click here.